Pamela

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WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A FIRST TIME MOTHER?

Take help when offered it doesn't make you weak. Ask for help. Sleep when you can the laundry can wait. Don’t worry if you don't know what to do no one does. Join a mom and baby group it helps to get out.

WHAT IS YOUR FONDEST MEMORY OF YOUR GRANDMOTHER?

My best memory of my grandmother is she would sneak into my room at night when my sister and I were supposed to be sleeping and sign to us. She would curl my hair and soak my feet. Was always just there. Ah I miss her

HAVE YOU EXPERIENCES LOSS ON YOUR MOTHERHOOD JOURNEY? WHAT RESOURCES HELPED YOU COPE WITH THIS LOSS?

I lost 2 babies trying to have my 3rd. It was the hardest emotionally and physically thing I ever went through. My husband and I were set to go away for a family wedding when a week before leaving I went for and ultrasound I was 10 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I decided to let the process happen naturally. The majority happened at the family wedding not an ideal place. My husband was there as much as he could be, but it was something I had to do on my own. It was horrible painful and sad. It sucked. I cried a lot shared my story to whoever would listen. Knowing I wasn't alone helped.

WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES / REWARDS OF MOTHERHOOD?

At the beginning of this thanksgiving weekend I am enjoying some time off. I am sitting in the destruction left behind by hurricane Noah. I have time to reflect I am so thankful for my family especially my babies. One has moved out one came home with university catalogs and will be leaving next year and one is peacefully sleeping. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Maybe if I didn't have kids I would have had a nicer (cleaner) home fancier car or had been able to take trips around the world. But I would have missed out on sloppy kisses, warm hugs, runny noses, sleepless nights, days without a showering, shared bathroom time, long conversations, answering all the whys, and all the love which is priceless to me. All these things I am thankful for.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE?

Knowing that eventually they will fall asleep is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day. Then when they are asleep to look at their little faces all the stress of the day disappears

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PARENTING STYLE?

I am much more involved then my mom. I’ve never been afraid to talk with my kids about anything to be honest with them so they will be with me. I am relaxed and casual and a bit of a pushover. I am a softy but taught my kids to stand up for what is right and when you make a mistake own it. I gave up on being scared that I am not doing this right and excepted there is no right way. You are going to mess up, make mistakes, and have bad mommy moments. But at the end of the day all you can do is your best. When you know better do better. Make sure you take time for yourself and do not feel guilty. When you are a better you - you are a better mom.

WHAT HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST MOTHERHOOD CHALLENGES YOU HAVE FACED AND WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU OFFER TO OTHER MOTHERS?

I have a 24 year old a 20 year old and a 4 year old. I have 2 grandbabies. My LO was just diagnosed with diabetes. I've been a single mom in a bad marriage lost myself found myself. I’ve had hardships and good times life has been a rollercoaster but through it all I’ve had my kids. I can't imagine my life without them. Some advice that I have carried with me that have gotten me through tough days are, don’t sweat the small stuff.  Everything is washable, and the best days end up with the dirtiest clothes. Oh and go outside every day it will do you all a world of good